Driving into work today, I had this stunning revelation. I really like myself.

Maybe that's an odd revelation, maybe not. But it's a new revelation for me anyways (...are there ever any old revelations..?).

You see, I've been one of those individuals whose inner critic is turned up full blast. I would criticize myself for things I had actually not even done. For example, I had to speak in public once and I can remember that inner critic saying "you're going to stutter so bad because you're such a poor speaker. Why are you even doing this? Find someone else to do it. Oh man, you're going to sound like such an idiot!"

I'd actually start to get upset, when I hadn't even screwed up yet. Pre-screw up cut-downs.

Yet today I was really happy with myself... I'm not sure why. I'm really proud of myself! In the last few months I have:

Paid off my visa
I'm about to sign papers on my new house
Paid off several big bills
I have 4 more loan payments left
lost weight

The list is longer, and some things may seem inconsequential to many, but to me they are big things.

Another example. I've accepted the fact that I'm an emotional person. That my moods fluctuate more than gas prices. I have always known that I'm emotional, but I never really thought that it was ok. Now I do.

The bizarre thing is that I'm not sure how I came to this conclusion. I just decided I was a good person. I might have to do with the fact that I decided a few weeks ago that I was a great catch. As I girlfriend or a wife I mean.

Honestly, I have many good qualities that some damn lucky guy is going to cash in on.. if he's approved as boyfriend material.

I make awesome Apple pies and Chocolate chip cookies
I can drive anything
I'm a decent housekeeper
I don't overspend
I save for a rainy day
I'm a great mom
I'm a great friend
I like to listen
I face my fears
I'm independent
I respect others
I love to go out to a movie or stay in
I am very considerate of others' feelings

Well, I won't list all my qualities, because at this point you're thinking, ok, move on...

But I am confident of my goodness.

I'm confident that I am a good apple.