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The Writing Mother

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The Suicide of Reason in Canada
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Monday, September 27, 2004
Ooh! Ooh! Do I have a Troll?

Ok, right on the heels of Kira's troll, I'm hoping that I, too have a troll. Of course, they commented "Anonymously" because, as we all know, Trolls have no balls. Really, they don't. I *love* the trolls who comment anonymously because it just shows that they really are just like one of those little kids that goes, punches another kid, and then runs behind a tree. "See, look I can poke someone and try hurt them... but then I will sneak back to no-retalliation land"... give me a break.

The only time I've ever posted anonymously is when I've wanted to say something very, very NICE to someone, but didn't want them to know it was me. Sort of a random act of kindness, blogger-style.

So, this is what Holier Than Thou said "He's in the tub and you're on the computer? By the way you describe him he sounds way to young to be in the tub unsupervised. I have a four year old that I still supervise and likely will for another year or so"

Ok. That is fine. My computer room is adjacent to the bathroom. I can hear the BREATHING in the tub. Therefore, should said BREATHING stop at any time, I'm thinking I'd run the FOUR STEPS into the tub. For crying out loud, the kid could practically splash me from the tub.

And by the way I describe him....? Does "incessent chatter" describe my child? Yep, it does. Trust me, with my son, if he's silent, you'd better be there. No, bathtimes are filled with "mommy, look at my moto-cycle... brrrmmm brrrrmmmm *cwash!* mommy he cwashed!" and I generally bop back and forth between whatever I'm doing and the bathroom.

C'mon, does Holier Than Thou With No Balls constitute a troll?
  The Writing Mother
  posted at 8:12 PM

Friday, September 24, 2004
Days Like These

It's days like these when you have a good day at work, and you look so forward to picking up your child, and you know when you go home you will make a supper that you'll both like, and he'll be sweet and you'll be the best mommy and bed time will come without a wimper... it's days like these that make me love everything in my world.

Granted, they are balanced quite completely by the days where my child is the spawn of the dark one and he calls me names that he learned at day care, and he pouts and cries at every infraction (such as insisting that he have a *gasp* bath).... it's those days that I look at him and wonder just what carefree and exciting superstar life I'd be living if he weren't here.

Today was thankfully the first one.

I say thankfully because I'm still off-kilter from my recent trip. I'm still unfocused, it is still a battle to find peaceful sleep at night. I find myself cleaning my house in some OCD-like way. Dishes do not sit long on my counter. Yesterday I did three sinks. Keep in mind that there is only my son and I, and we didn't make that many dishes. Just the action of ... doing... of keeping busy. That is keeping me sane. Tonight is article writing night, there are a couple due this weekend. When the boy-child goes to bed, I'll have a bath, read a bit while soaking, and then start on them.

Boy-Child is in the BEST stage right now. The tell-on-himself stage.

"Dammit....... Mommy! I say Dammit!"*

"Mommy!.... I sticking my tongue out at you!"

*For the record, I did not teach him this word, it is a new one in his recently acquired daycare dicitonary. The dictionary that includes such gems such as: poopy-head, stupid-head, shut-up, poopy-face.

Thankfully his dictionary also includes songs that he sings loudly... "Mr Sun, Sun, Mr Golden Sun, Shine on me all day...." There is nothing better than hearing him sing that song.

Well I'm off to drag the boy-child out of the tub I had to drag him into so that we can watch a little Harry Potter and go to bed on time.

  The Writing Mother
  posted at 7:36 PM

Monday, September 20, 2004

Yeah, I've been slightly MIA. It has been very tough to blog, to even think about blogging. For one thing, there's the whole what-to-blog-about thing, and secondly, there has been no time!

I just got back from Winnipeg - from volunteering at a horse show. You know that there is some level of dedication when you pay about $600 to travel to a horse show - to volunteer. But actually I will be making money off of a couple of articles, and I can write the flights off as an expense. So I'm not totally ultruistic.

(Isn't that AMAZING, Kira?)

I feel so far from centre right now. My life feels like it is totally off kilter. My compass is pointing... well, shall we say, further south than normal. That's all I'm gonna say about that!

I know I have friends out there that worry about me and my choices. I can't say I blame them totally, my choices have always been slightly erratic. But I accept them as my choices, and to me, that's a big thing. I don't think that there is much in my past that I blame on others, or that I would wish away.

I watched the Butterfly Effect last night. That is what got me thinking about this. If you haven't seen it, I'd highly recommend it for a good 'thinker' movie. If I could go back and change things, would I? Probably not. Even the things I want to grumble about like having to take into consideration my ex-husband when I make decisions regarding my own life. But if I take a good hard look at my life, it's apparent that I am who I am today because of every little brick that I've laid down in my life. Would I take my ex out of my life five years ago? No, I wouldn't - because then I wouldn't have had my son. And he's just shaped me to be the woman that I am today because of the very beat of his heart.

Would I change the bad, rotten, mean things that have happened to me. Probably not. Luckily they are so far in the past that they are just shadows of scars now, faint hints of pain that only hurt if I poke at them too much.


I've wondered a lot lately about the purpose of being in a relationship. Is it a goal? Is it a purpose? Is it a destination? What I've come up with is this: being in a relationship is a journey. Perhaps some will say I get focused on being in a relationship - to the detriment of the rest of my life - and I guess to them I say that I just love the journey.

Have you ever been on a journey like a new relationship? Where you could just sit back and enjoy the view, learning about a new culture just by watching it, learning the new language just by hearing it? I have never, ever been on a journey like I am on now. It's unreal. It's not like Australia, or Peru, or Russia. This is like Mars or Jupiter or Pluto. (Or, yeah, ok, I'll say it... Uranus *snicker snicker*)

So that is all for now, I need to get some boring writing done. Some slightly more superficial writing instead of this narcissistic excercise I've just completed.
  The Writing Mother
  posted at 6:47 PM

Monday, September 13, 2004
Rude People

I have identified my number one pet peeve. Rude People. This is a good Peeve because it encompasses so many different peeves. But right near the top are the Rude People with Bad Table Manners. I know several of theses individuals. I'm unsure how they have gotten through life without having pencils stuck in their eyes, because just listening to them eat makes me want to jab an HB in each socket.

There should be a basic manual for these people. With nice, easy to read chapters that they can.. ahem... digest easily.

Cud Chewing for Non-Cows
Slurpless Noodles
You CAN Drink Your Coffee Without Slurping It
How to Finish Your Food and THEN Your Sentance For Dummies
Finger Sucking: A Guide to Stopping That Before I Chop Your Fingers Off

There is just no excuse, really.
  The Writing Mother
  posted at 5:29 PM

Saturday, September 11, 2004
Please Turn Down The Ego

So. I was considering letting a certain boy-person read my blog. So I re-read some posts. Is it just me, or am I a little egotistical sometimes? Jeez, there's liking yourself and then there's find another freaking topic!


I have a problem. See, I started this blog as a way to work through some things. To find out who I was - having lost myself a little bit for a few years. And there was a little theme going on for a while, about boys and dating and love.

But I'll let you in on a secret. I'm sort of kind of dating someone now. It's long distance, but it's good. And I don't want to blog about it at all. And I feel bad about that, but I don't. I want to keep it all to myself. You have to understand that this is a new thing for me, but I care about this person, and I know that he's a private individual, and I appreciate that about him. And I want what we have to be just for us.

So now what? Now what do I blog about?

We're really not *dating*... we're just.... we'll see.
  The Writing Mother
  posted at 9:22 PM

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