I have to admit, I was getting worried. Here my child has been at day care for two years and I have hardly any refrigerator drawings to show for it. We have colouring book after colouring book, I have tracing books and drawing books and colouring books and letter books... but he never seems to be interested in drawing. Today while we were out at dinner he started drawing on a piece of paper, I assumed he'd be making the usual squiggles that I couldn't figure out, but instead I looked over and recognized a shape or two!

Let me help you with the 'translation'... this is me, balancing precariously on a donut, apparently.

And this one is of M. and Major Man. M. is on the left and is smiling and has very big arms. Major Man is the one with the egg for a head and the 'hat':
Apparently M. is the only one of us to have pupils.

Major Man and I... ok, well, Major Man, subscribe to Investors Business Daily.

THANK YOU IBD for asking the questions that others will not:

Is Islam the only religion with a doctrine, theology and legal system that mandates warfare against unbelievers?

Is it true that 26 chapters of the Quran deal with jihad, a fight able-bodied believers are obligated to join (Surah 2:216), and that the text orders Muslims to "instill terror into the hearts of the unbeliever" and to "smite above their necks" (8:12)?

Is the "test" of loyalty to Allah not good acts or faith in general, but martyrdom that results from fighting unbelievers (47:4) — the only assurance of salvation in Islam (4:74; 9:111)?

Are the sins of any Muslim who becomes a martyr forgiven by the very act of being slain while slaying the unbelievers (4:96)?

And is it really true that martyrs are rewarded with virgins, among other carnal delights, in Paradise (38:51, 55:56; 55:76; 56:22)?

Are those unable to do jihad — such as women or the elderly — required to give "asylum and aid" to those who do fight unbelievers in the cause of Allah (8:74)?

Does Islam advocate expansion by force? And is the final command of jihad, as revealed to Muhammad in the Quran, to conquer the world in the name of Islam (9:29)?

Is Islam the only religion that does not teach the Golden Rule (48:29)? Does the Quran instead teach violence and hatred against non-Muslims, specifically Jews and Christians (5:50)?

Another Hat Tip to Beautiful Atrocities.

Charlotte Church:

"I went to Ground Zero just as an ordinary person. It was awful, people taking debris to sell. They were really rowdy, climbing on police cars to get pictures. Everyone there has to relate themselves to it. They are like [mimics American accent], 'Yeah, my neighbor's dog's owner's sister's dog was involved, but he got out just in time'. It was a sick. People overdramatize. (Firefighters) went from here in society to celebrities [ED: except the dead ones]. They are even invited here to present television awards [as opposed to pop tarts] ... There was Paul McCartney saying, 'I witnessed the crash.' Who cares? Thousands witnessed it."

From the bizarre files, a Chinese cosmetic firm uses remains of executed Chinese prisioners in it's anti-aging cream.

Hat tip to Beautiful Atrocities (no pun intended).

I despise it when the listings say that a show will be on and then it's not. I can't be happy on Sunday night without my Grey's Anatomy! Instead I get CSI. Now I have nothing against CSI, especially the original, but I it's not the same.

Well we did it. We bought the truck. YAHOO!!

I have to say that yes, Hemis are pigs on gas, I know this. I will not be winning any global conservation awards for it. But it's big, it kicks ass and I like it.

Deep down I'm an immature person. I've come to terms with this. I drive by boys and in my head I say "my truck's bigger than yo-orrrrs" and I like the fact that if I put my signal on people in the lane I want actually take their foot off of the gas rather than apply it further.

People drive like jerks sometimes. I used to have a little game in my head (see immature statement preceding ...) where I'd put my signal on to make the person in the lane next to me speed up. It doesn't quite work in the truck as it did in the little car.

I know I said I gave him no sympathy, but I do have sympathy for his family. The professor who thought that climbing on a moving vehicle would somehow give voice to his union strike... or something... fell off and hit his head. He died in hospital just hours after the end of the strike.

The article states: "John was a wonderful colleague," Burrows said. "He was very popular with students. He was always patient. He always gave them all his time and attention. And he always took an interest in making the college work better for students."

The driver of the car will not be charged. Police reviewed security tapes and do not believe the driver committed a criminal offense. Of course not. I'm not sure when driving would have become a criminal offence.

I just don't get it. What a waste. Why do people insist on acting like idiots?

Hat tip to Girl on the Right.

These are freaking hilarious!

For those of you who think that maybe I've grown or changed in my old age, I got this today from my very first *real* boyfriend. (circa 1991-1994) He said it reminded him of me...

Between turning on this computer and getting Blogger.com up... I forgot what I was going to blog about. It was sassy and funny though.

I think.

Damn.

I'll tell you one thing, I'm all stressed about buying the truck. My 'wanting' side tends to overshadow my practical side on a regular basis. You'd think my practical side would be bolstered by the fact that I got the buy in from Major Man.

I think the problem is that I usually get what I want at the expense of common sense.

Sometimes it ends up working out ok, I gave up a career to go to Europe and met Major Man there.

Have you seen that Pepsi commercial with the man and woman who start dancing like crazy as soon as they have a sip of Pepsi? Major Man and I watched it and both looked at each other and said "that is so European". You wanna know what tv is like over there? That's it. Except usually with a bit more nudity.

I feel like the fog is finally lifting. Sure the Pregnancy Brain is still there, but I finally know what freaking day it is.

Yeah, I woke up and thought it was Saturday.

It was Friday.

So I neglected to call into work to tell them I wasn't going to be there. When my boss called around 11 am, I was asleep in bed. My husband had to wake me up, at this point I realized that I had a chiropractor's appointment. I phoned my boss on the way to the appointment, certain I had called him the day before.

I had called on Wednesday.

For the record here, I've missed four days of work. I don't *quite* remember them as four full days.

This reminds me very, very much of my last injury. When I hurt my back I was off work for six weeks. I would literally float through a week and forget what day it was... I had to carry a day timer around with me and ask my mother to remind me of all of my appointments.

Part of the fog had to due with the fact that we brought M. to his dad's house a day early. Normally it's on Friday. We brought him on Thursday this week. A side effect of this is that I miss my son today. I want him with me today. I have to wait until tomorrow afternoon to see him now.

Oh, and the side effect that made me the most cranky? I was supposed to attend court today to fight a ticket for speeding in a zone that was improperlly marked. Because I complained after the ticket, the City put up the correct speed limit sign. I felt vindicated and also thought I might be able to use this as a bargain point in court.

Yeah.

I forgot.

Despite the fact that it's written on all of my calendars.

I can't wait to feel better. Couches, ice packs, and crappy daytime television sucks. Not to mention that I missed ALL of my writing deadlines. I haven't written a single word this week. (Well, other than this blog.. the other writing involves research and work)

Some guy in Iowa wrote up a contract for his wife. I can't even begin to explain how repulsive it is. You just need to go look at it.

Hat Tip: Bacon and Eh's

I can't upload properly... this is driving me bonkers!

Do you know what is pissing me off right now? The fact that the woman who hit me did not get a ticket. Not even a little 'following too close' slap on the wrist. Nuthin'. Nada.

When I was 17, I rear ended a big truck with my little car while making a poor lane change. Because we were headed up a hill, my car ended up under the truck. I was injured and taken to the hospital. The others were fine. And the police officers came into the room where I was getting my x-rays to give me a big old nasty 'driving without due care and attention' ticket.

What? Should I have cried and sobbed? More? Should I have had a female cop like this lady did?

Why are the rules different?

It's pissing me off.

Yes, I know, the important thing is that I'm ok and my son is ok and my baby is ok.

My poor, poor Neon. I have a history of having the crappiest, hoop-de, wak-a-wak-a-bow-bow cars you can get. The Pontiac Pheonix. The Olds Omega. The rusted out 280 ZX. The dented up half ton truck, 'old blue'. The 2000 Neon was the best car I'd ever owned. It didn't matter if it was -30 that baby was starting. My plan was to take such good care of it that my son could drive it in another 10 years. I was not selling it. Heck, I still owed $4000 grand on it. However, Monday, this is what she looked like:

Our best guess is that it will be written off. Look at that torque, baby... two doors won't close properly, there is no way to get into the trunk without a crowbar but those lights still work just fine! (Heh, they were working when I was sitting there stopped and the woman hit me!)

I want this.

No, not mine, silly... 22 more weeks to go...

Jenn's!

By the way... I guessed her right!

This woman has got it goin' on! Arab-American psychologist Wafa Sultan:

"The Jews have come from the tragedy [of the Holocaust], and forced the world to respect them, with their knowledge, not with their terror; with their work, not with their crying and yelling. Humanity owes most of the discoveries and science of the 19th and 20th centuries to Jewish scientists. Fifteen million people, scattered throughout the world, united and won their rights through work and knowledge. We have not seen a single Jew blow himself up in a German restaurant. We have not seen a single Jew destroy a church. We have not seen a single Jew protest by killing people. The Muslims turned three Buddha statues into rubble. We have not seen a single Buddhist burn down a mosque, kill a Muslim, or burn down an embassy. Only the Muslims defend their beliefs by burning down churches, killing people, and destroying embassies. This path will not yield any results. The Muslims must ask themselves what they can do for humankind, before they demand that humankind respect them."

See more at MichelleMalkin.com

You can also watch the video here.

A full transcript of kick ass commentary is also here.

I'm starting to feel like I'm getting a wee bit sick. There's that particular little ache, a headache... a few chills... and I'm madly trying to fend it off. Oh sure, a few days at home would be great.. but I'd like to do things like write my freaking articles!!

2 columns - due 3/15
2 articles - due 3/15
1 column - due 3/12
1 article - due 3/25
1 column - due 3/26

And this weekend I have a little side trip I need to make... will keep you posted. What I REALLY want to do is go to Vegas with my friend on the 17th to watch her show her horse, but dammit I'm using up all my vacation days... hmmmm maybe a sick day? (oh, um, Kim... I didn't really mean that...)

I'm also a lightly haughty and self-righteous. In case you were taking my inventory.

I know FIVE pregnant women. Some well, some not so well. I have a bet (with myself of course) to see which ones will have an epidural and which will not.

THREE will have an epidural. TWO WILL not.

I apologize in advance to anyone reading this who had an epidural. Labour sucks. It's hard and it's painful and it hurts a helluva lot. People seem to be split into two camps.

A) it hurts and I don't have to put up with it
B) it hurts and I'm going to do it anyway

I'm in the B camp. For me, there was something completey empowering and fulfilling knowing that those Three Freaking Days were the HARDEST moments I had ever lived through. Technically the last 12 hours were the worst, but the two and a half days leading up were no picnic.

But I am a red head, stubborn and, at times, angry. And this birth was not going to get the best of me. I was not going to wimp out, I was not going to give in, I was not going to take the easy road.

Because if I could do it then it would be my talisman. It would mean that I could be a mother. That I could do anything if I put my mind to it.

But that's just what it meant to me... since I've had my son almost five years ago, I have become a volunteer birth companion as well as taken my childbirth educator's course (which I'm re-certifying for this year). And I know that every labour is different and every woman handles her pain differently. I want to find out why there is this segment of women that believe they can do it... and then take the epidural at the first opportunity. I want to know why. I want to know what they weren't prepared for, what surprised them, what made them change their mind... it's a weird little obsession, I know.

I'll let you know if I'm right.... because I'm SO sure you are interested.

"Stupidity is without anxiety.” (Johann Wolfgang von Goethe)

I wonder, when I see someone (or, say a particular group) that is so self-assured and without any sort of anxiety, if this isn't actually the Stupidity Theory put into practice.

Oh yes, I am Cranky.

Last night while having a bath, the hot water tap refused to shut off. Of course then I had to get out of my nice tub and drain it and schlep over to the hot water heater and shut off the water. I wanted a bath dammit. These legs need to be shaved.

So we called the Landlords who will come over tonight. I have no time to really clean up the house and I don't want them thinking that it's almost a month since we moved in and we haven't finished unpacking... even if it is true. My office and my bedroom are the last holdouts. Thankfully the rooms have doors.

I reminded Major Man that the cable company was coming by to fix their mistakes... I will swear on a stack of bibles that I told him last week. He doesn't remember.

I know I have a dozen things to finish this week and I haven't got a clue what they are exactly. four articles and three columns by the 15th. What day is it today?

I get to work and realize I've forgotten the swimming clothes for M.'s lesson tonight. As soon as the lesson is finished, I need to take him home and immediately run out to a meeting. Hopefully I can get some rest there.

I was number one in sales this past week and what does my boss say? "Oh but if you didn't get that one order you would have been 12th." Well duh, of course if I don't DO MY JOB then I'll be at the bottom of the pile. Turns out that the one order wasn't calculated in last week's numbers so when it's added this week I'll be beating HIM. Put that in yer pipe and smoke it.

Oh yes, Capital C Cranky.
Need chocolate type of cranky.
Want to scream at customers type of cranky.

Canadians are not in Iraq... but they should be. Why?

Michael Totten just returned from Iraq. He visited one of the torture houses where over ten thousand Kurds - including children - were tortured and murdered.

"The hardest thing to see was the cell used to hold children before they were murdered. My translator Alan read some of the messages carved into the wall." says Totten.

“I was ten years old. But they changed my age to 18 for execution.”

“Dear Mom and Dad. I am going to be executed by the Baath. I will not see you again.”

Do the Cindy Sheehans of this world believe that their son's life had more value than the lives of these children? Her son freely chose to go somewhere that she didn't like. These children had no choices.

Went to the ultrasound yesterday and found that the baby is younger than we thought... only 16.5 weeks rather than 18 weeks. Darn it. It may seem like only a week and a half, but lest ye forget that I am the most impatient person. I'd be happy having the baby now, thankyouverymuch. The baby was also very bashful and wouldn't show us his/her goods, so we're still calling it an 'it'. I'm still thinking it's going to be a girl.

Also found that there was a bright spot on the baby's heart. This can mean nothing, or it can mean that the baby has Down's Syndrome. That one threw me for a loop. I went today for some bloodwork and I will be going to another ultrasound in two weeks. The bloodwork will be back in time for my doctor's appointment next week. I refuse to Google "bright spot heart ultrasound" because I know the results are scary. The Maternal Serum Screen cannot even say difinitively if the baby has a chromosomal abnormality or not. It only states whether or not you have an increased risk. Helpful.

The doctor who reviewed the ultrasound photos of the alien baby was all very reassuring. Despite the fact that they haul you into a little room with a cushy little chair that you know right away is there in case you curl up into the fetal position. Major Man was there but he didn't really hear what was being said... it was odd, he heard, but then when we were discussing what was the doctor had said he had some weird interpretation that made me think he'd heard Down's Syndrome and stopped really listening.

I'd like to be able to just work but what I really want is to just sleep.

Have you ever noticed how 'emotional' and 'fragile' go together during pregnancy? It is as though I have an internal dialogue on continuous playback throughout my whole day.

Are you ready to kick yet baby?
I don't look pregnant, I just look fat.
When does maternity leave kick in?
Can I just NOT go back to work?
Where is more chocolate?
Hellooo baby? Commence kicking any time...

No wonder I cannot focus on my job or what is going on or deal appropriately with new things. A new opportunity pops up and I run around all "ahhh.. must act now... ahhh... what should I do? ahhhh.... how does this affect me? ahhh... can't think...."

Ok, that's not so far off of normal.

But strange things affect me... I begin to deep think, my term for this state I find myself in where I can let the minor details of life skim off of me like little pebbles in a pond... but the BIG MONUMENTAL questions in life weigh me down.

Major Man is doing his best, he is getting used to my mood swings and handles them appropriately (as long as I tell him what to do... like yesterday when I walked in and said "I'm very, very grumpy. Hug me now.")

But I have this feeling like I haven't really DONE anything in life. I'm in sales, whoopitydo. I'm published a writer, whoopa (it's not like a wrote a life changing manifesto or anything). Major Man kindly informs me that my son and my soon to be second born would probably disagree and I have to give him that. But there are people out there DOING things that I want to do and I'm to afraid to do them, dammit.

So what would I do? Number one thing, always on the top of the list. Go back to school.

If I were really, really, super brave, I'd go back to school and be a labour and delivery nurse. Scratch that, if I were really brave I'd be a midwife, but I know I'm not that brave. I'm much more suited to being a nurse. But there's that whole MONEY thing... and living in something that is NOT a cardboard box.

And how in the world do I think I could possibly do these things when I can't even figure out how to do my own taxes. Or even register for school.

First, I have to birth this baby. (Ultrasound today, yay!)

Then I need to finish up that Childbirth Educator's Certificate. (Mostly done)

Maybe when I'm safely into the next decade I'll return to school.

Four Jobs I've Had in My Life
1. Horse Trainer & Riding Instructor
2. Cook
3. School Bus Driver
4. Writer

Four Films I Could Watch Over and Over
1. The Incredibles
2. Finding Nemo
3. Nanny McPhee
4. Narnia

Four Places I Have Lived
1. Barbados, West Indies
2. Salzburg, Austria
3. High Level, Alberta
4. Saskatoon, Saskatchewan

Four TV Series I Like
1. Grey's Anatomy
2. Ghost Whisperer
3. Survivor (yes, I'm one of those...)
4. ER

Four Places I've Been on Vacation
1. Lido de Jelsolo, Italy (where I met my husband)
2. Vacation?
3. Is that, like...
4. For rich people?


Four Foods I love
1. Chocolate
2. Strawberries
3. Raspberries
4. Avacado & Tomato toasted sandwiches (remember, I'm pregnant)

Four Websites I Visit Daily
1. www.michellemalkin.com
2. www.dooce.com
3. www.westernstandard.blogs.com/
4. www.foxnews.com

Four Places I'd Rather Be Right Now
1. With my son
2. Holding my soon to be newborn child
3. Riding
4. Reading

Four Bloggers Who Should Play
1. www.dooce.com
2. www.joshilynjackson.com/mt/
3. www.girlontheright.com/
4. www.rickmercer.blogspot.com/

I have been totally spoiled. Completely.

Here I am, a conservative Canadian with a socialist streak married to a republican American with a very big capitalistic streak. It's all very right wing in my house up here in Canadia...

And yet we have several Democratic/Liberal friends. I talk with Democrats on a daily basis and they are smart, smart people... with the odd wingnut thrown in. But my smart D friends have never shied away from a debate, never been ignorant, rude or unbecoming... we jsut accept that we think differently. Apparently I've been spoiled by knowing too many smart, intellegent Dems.

This week I was introduced to the dumbest, most ignorant Democratic wingbat that I've ever come across... I was mind-boggled by his inability to really put forth any sort of decent arguement... he was one of those people that will take a word, skew it and then try to use it against you. And for whatever reason he took what I said (a conservative Canuck with a socialist streak) and figured that somehow I spoke for all Capitalistic, Republican Americans.

Yeah, ok.

Keep tryin'.

I can't even bring myself to link to him to... but I'll feel justified and right as soon as one of his buddies follows a link in my comment on his blog and spews some filth over here.