Sunday, July 09, 2006
What a difference five years can make...
Exactly five years ago I was attending childbirth classes with my exhusband. Well, he wasn't an ex yet... in fact we were still practically newlyweds. I was completely enthralled with this baby I was soon to bear. Slightly less enthralled with the husband. I can remember very little about the day and a half of classes other than he did not want to be there and was making it known in every passive aggressive way he knew. I remember crying at lunch because we were fighting.
But, we had The Most Amazing Childbirth Educator - Kathy. She was so wonderful. Enthusiastic, funny, charismatic and so very knowledgeable. The words she said came back so many times during my labour that I credit her for having the most empowering birth experience ever. Of course she'd just credit me back for doing "the most womanly" thing in the world.
Because of her, I am pursuing my childbirth educator's certificate. Because of her, my life changed.
As I mentioned, on Friday - exactly five years to the weekend - there I sat, waiting outside the childbirth classes with my new and wonderful husband. (And one of my best friends, who is due just two days before me but will probably give birth a couple weeks before ...)
And who should walk in but... The Most Amazing Childbirth Educator!
She remembered my name, as we'd seen each other a couple of times since then. And although she's not allowed to give me her phone number, she told me where I could get it.
Sitting through the classes, I could not help but consider the changes that have happened in the past five years. It was impossible not to compare the classes - not the information, but my reaction to it. So confirming and empowering. Giving birth is what my body was designed to do, but that doesn't make it easy. It's a marathon. It's the most difficult thing that any woman can do. And I can do it.
I sat next to Major Man and wondered at how my life had changed. I have very rarely compared my first husband with my current husband - it's not healthy in any way, shape or form. But again, it was impossible.
He was amazing. He listened, he considered, he took the information in. He actually READ the handouts that were for him. He listened to me. He practiced the massage techniques. He made sure *I* listened and practiced and took it seriously. I think much of it was outside of his comfort zone, but I think he took it seriously. I was so very proud. This birth will be difficult on him. He's a very capable man. Not being able to 'fix' or take away my pain may be difficult for him. He may become frustrated and I may have to help him through this.
But if I can give birth, I can truly do anything.
But, we had The Most Amazing Childbirth Educator - Kathy. She was so wonderful. Enthusiastic, funny, charismatic and so very knowledgeable. The words she said came back so many times during my labour that I credit her for having the most empowering birth experience ever. Of course she'd just credit me back for doing "the most womanly" thing in the world.
Because of her, I am pursuing my childbirth educator's certificate. Because of her, my life changed.
As I mentioned, on Friday - exactly five years to the weekend - there I sat, waiting outside the childbirth classes with my new and wonderful husband. (And one of my best friends, who is due just two days before me but will probably give birth a couple weeks before ...)
And who should walk in but... The Most Amazing Childbirth Educator!
She remembered my name, as we'd seen each other a couple of times since then. And although she's not allowed to give me her phone number, she told me where I could get it.
Sitting through the classes, I could not help but consider the changes that have happened in the past five years. It was impossible not to compare the classes - not the information, but my reaction to it. So confirming and empowering. Giving birth is what my body was designed to do, but that doesn't make it easy. It's a marathon. It's the most difficult thing that any woman can do. And I can do it.
I sat next to Major Man and wondered at how my life had changed. I have very rarely compared my first husband with my current husband - it's not healthy in any way, shape or form. But again, it was impossible.
He was amazing. He listened, he considered, he took the information in. He actually READ the handouts that were for him. He listened to me. He practiced the massage techniques. He made sure *I* listened and practiced and took it seriously. I think much of it was outside of his comfort zone, but I think he took it seriously. I was so very proud. This birth will be difficult on him. He's a very capable man. Not being able to 'fix' or take away my pain may be difficult for him. He may become frustrated and I may have to help him through this.
But if I can give birth, I can truly do anything.
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