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The Writing Mother

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Friday, November 12, 2004
Such Relief!

You know the decisions that you make in your life, the ones that briefly stress you the heck out, and then suddenly you realize that the decision is SO right for YOU, that by not making the decision you are doing yourself a disservice?

Do you know those decisions?

I just made one. Well, actually I made the decision on Wednesday. After a discussion with my son's doctor.

Short story: We live on a farm, the allergens make him sick - he coughs at night sometimes until he throws up, he has to be on two inhalers to keep him NOT coughing, and even then he still coughs.

I'd been hoping that it wasn't where we lived, because I like it out here in the open in my little mobile home with my million dollar view of the rocky mountains and the good people and the low payments. In fact, I've been ignoring it a bit too long, chalking it up to a cold.

By the third ER visit in 8 weeks I had to face facts. So this Wednesday I decided to move. I've looked at a few apartments and though I haven't put a deposit on one yet, I will likely do so on Monday. But for three days I've been this ill-feeling bundle of stress because I didn't want to disappoint some people by moving, there are extenuating circumstances that I'd been fairly unaware of, and at the same time I was making my decision, I was becoming more aware of them.

So today I let everyone know I was moving - well, everyone who had to know I guess. The landlord, the person I was buying my home from, the new property owners... yadda yadda....

Such a weight off of my mind. Because in letting them know, in telling them why, I realized that yes, this is the right decision for me and my son. What mother in her right mind would choose to stay in a place that makes her son sick because she "doesn't want to disappoint" someone? Who would do that??

My responsibility in life is to give my son a good life, to make healthy choices for him, and to look out for him. I am doing that.

And for the first time in a long time I'm 110% sure of my decision.
  The Writing Mother
  posted at 2:45 PM
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