Dear Northwest Airlines

After my recent excursion into the land of lost luggage, angry passengers, and ambivalent airline staff, let me just say you've sunk to new lows. Maybe not US Airways lows, but still new lows....

1. Please try to hire more pilots so that holiday travelers like myself do not stare wistfully out the window at our aircraft that sits at the gate, full of our luggage and growing colder by the minute while you try to find someone who can fly the damn thing. There were several offers from hopeful passengers, I do understand why you didn't accept their offers - though the offer from the world war two vet who promised to 'get the b!tch in the air' was tempting.

2. When it is -30C in Minneapolis, and you give some poor sould a voucher for a hotel, and direct them across hell's half acre to the free shuttle waiting area with the hordes of other stranded and very.happy.people..... please make sure that the hotel actually OFFERS a free shuttle. Actually, please make sure that you write the correct name on the voucher as well. Hotel Days Inn XCYDGH does not actually exist, despite the fact that THAT is what you have written.

3. When you lose both of my bags, try to find both of them. Last I saw they were sitting in the aforementioned ice cold plane at the Minneapolis airport. Apparently they were then flown to Detroit and driven to their destination in South Bend, Indiana. I, on the other hand, was rerouted through Chicago-Midway.

4. Please try to staff your luggage complaint department with a) more than one tired lady or b) more than one tired lady with a brain in her head who can actually understand what I am saying. I know I'm speaking Canadian and all, but how hard is it to type "Black, roller bag and blue sport bag". Instead I'm left with blue roller bag and black duffle bag. No wonder no one could find them.

5. Thank you for returning one bag, three days after my arrival. However, it would be nice if you left my claim file open so that the rest of your staff would know to still look for my other bag. And when I call 4 times, please take the hint that I'd like you to take some sort of action.

6. Your baggage staff should never say "I don't know what's going on, I've been on vacation for five days" when I call. Hmmm so have I - except I've been living in my boyfriend's jogging pants and had to buy granny-panties at Walgreens at 11 pm on Christmas Eve. And I'd like my birth control pill please or you can be responsible for paying for 18 years of some possibly concieved child.

7. Realize that I'm being as patient as I can on day number seven sans luggage when I receive the call from you that you have my other bags. "You have my bag." "We do?" "Yes, you called and left me a message" "what does it look like?" "Black roller bag" "how do you know we have it?" "YOU called ME" "we have no file open for you" "no kidding" "what does it look like?" BLACK ROLLER BAG" "And you're sure it's here?" "Well, you have no file open, so the only way you would know who owned it, and the only way you'd know to call me would be if you were looking at the tag with my cell phone number on it... which is on the bag." "what does it look like?"

It looks like I won't be flying Northwest any time soon.