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Wednesday, June 23, 2004
There's a lot of crap on TV.

I'm glad I am realizing that now, because in a week I'll be tv-less. Well, not exactly, but I'll be downsized from Cable to Peasant-Vision. If I write a best selling novel by the end of this year, you will all know what's been holding me back!

Tomorrow is my birthday. I don't know what to think about it. I could cry, I could laugh. I could get really drunk. I could do all three if I wanted to because it will be my party and I'll crylaughpuke if I want to.

I know one thing. It is way to depressing to look back and even contemplate what I thought I'd be doing when I hit this particular age. I did not think I would be a single mom of a child with anger issues.

Wait. That brings me to what I wanted to blog about.

M. has been having "anger issues" at his day care. Keep in mind he's a day care newbie, he's been there almost 4 months after pretty much staying home with me for 2 and some years. He's an aggressive child, I know this, he's also very outgoing and happy.

Lately he has had at least one incident report each day. Biting. He's the Hannibal Lector of Panda Daycare. Now while I completely disapprove of his behavior, think it is wrong and a punishable offence, there is really nothing that the daycare workers can do other than take him aside and talk to him. They can't even give him a time out according to government regulations. So here is the problem. See, he doesn't do any of this at home or with other kids when I'm around, but he bites and hits at day care. My conclusion is that there is something there causing him to feel frustrated enough that he has to lash out.

So today after work I went to go pick him up. He was playing right near the front of the enclosed playground, with another boy. Instead of going inside, I watched for a few minutes. I saw this other boy push him four times. Not accidentally either, they were two handed 'get outta my way' pushes as the two of them were jumping in puddles together. On the fifth one the kid actually punched M in the face. So M. bit his shoulder. I quickly got out of my car and hollered "M." and he stopped and skedaddled the heck outta Dodge.

By the time I'd gotten into the yard, one of the workers was taking care of the snacked on boxer.. Michael was MIA (he was in the sandbox playing and I think hoping to blend in with the rest of the cannibals.)

Immediately I get the "M. just bit..." story.

"Yeah, I saw. I also saw him just get punched in the face."


Perhaps if you to gabbers had been actually watching the children instead of chatting about whoknowswhat, you might have caught that.

Anywho.. the daycare director wants to speak with me, so off I go to the principal's office.

"I have some concerns about M.." she begins.

"And I have some concerns about what I just witnessed outside." I interject. I explain what I had seen. "and I am definitely sick and tired of getting these incident reports that say 'for no apparent reason M bit a kid'... there is always a reason. I am not in denial about my kid's behaviour, but I expect you to be responsible for actually watching my son."

Good thing for her, she agreed with me. Actually a really nice lady who wants to do the best job she can with limited resources due to the inability of this Liberal gov't to provide any further funding for her. I mean her most senior staff member only makes $9 an hour for crying out loud!!

Back to my story.

She wanted to get a "Daycare support person" in to observe M's behaviour, but has to get my permission to do so. I gave her permission. I know he's aggressive, I know he needs to learn to control his temper. I know because he is a small version of me. I can taste his frustration like a lemon in the back of my throat. Just the look on his face and I can feel the anger. It's a long fuse with a loud bang.

Just like my temper.

It sits at a rolling boil long after everyone else thinks you're over it. Then the moment you can, you explode.

I know his temper well because I gave it to him.

I can only try and help him deal with it early on and in a better way than I dealt with it.

Anyways, someday soon a worker will come to observe my son at play. The thing is... I am completely confident that they are going to see that he's being provoked. I know my son.

Off to bed now. Only an hour and a half until my birthday.
  The Writing Mother
  posted at 10:16 PM

At 11:48 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Happy Birthday Heather! Nobody can predict how their lives will turn out so instead of feeling bad that things aren't the way you thought they'd be, be thankful for what you have. Life is too short to have regrets. It sounds like your life is going great right now, make sure you take time for yourself.



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