I Can't Contain Myself

You know when you get the chance to do one of those things that you've been casually contemplating for years.... when by some little twist of fate you can see the thing in front of you... when it suddenly is no longer an impossibility, but something that just might, could be feasible, by the skin of your Mastercard.... be possible?

Yeah.

I booked a flight to go visit a friend in Indiana. A friend who was once a smidge past the just-a-friend designation. And a friend who I'm looking very much forward to seeing again.

I must remind myself that we cannot recreate the past. And interestingly enough, I find that a relief. Because recreating the past would be like trying to recreate the most romantic and fulfilling time of my life. No. This is different, this is an adventure. It's a new experience. Like skydiving.

I want to write more, I really do. I'm afraid. I'm afraid to put anything down in writing, lest it build up any hopes, or anchor me too much in reality.

I'm Jealous

Yep, I'm jealous. I can't take my jealousy of other authors who have put pen to paper and are creating novels while their kids mill about their feet.

I can do this. I will do this. Dammit I need to get my ass in gear and just do what I know I can do. I found this quote today and it was timely:

And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to bloom.