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Sunday, August 08, 2004

You know what the worst problem on the dating scene is? The abundance of men who have been royally screwed over by a poor example of the female species. I have run into so many. Granted, for the most part, I've only been able to hear the male version of the story - and bitter it usually is - but I can't believe that every single story is completely fabricated. There's a thread running through each and every one that makes me cringe.

What is it that causes some women to become vipers. Doing all that they can to hurt someone, or causing hurt by just not having the courage to be honest. And then what is the world left with? Another bitter man to perpetuate the single-till-I-die stereotype.

Would you (not specifically you, who read my blog, because I know you and love you... but the other yous, the yous who have stepped from one man to another....) just stop it already?

You are wrecking some good ones! They start off with hopes and dreams, just like you, and you crush them, or suck the life out of them. Then the good apples like me are left with guys who think all apples are alike. Oh I realize that they are not perfect. They mostly realize that, too. But that does not give you license to wreck perfectly good men for the rest of us.

It is tiresome dealing with the wreckage you created.

I may be speaking pretty high handed here, but I have a right to. I did not leave my ex-husband in a vast wasteland of bitterness. I still support his dreams, his hopes, his aspirations. I go out of my way to be nice to his new girlfriend, hell, I even kinda like her! I include him in my good news, I like to hear about his. I phone him to see what he's up to sometimes, not just to find out his schedule for our son. When he comes over I feed him and visit for a while.

I could not imagine purposefully hurting him. At one point in my life, I loved him enough for the both of us. Unfortunately love does not have an on and off switch, and though it's cooled considerably, I will remain friends with him.

In fact, there are still pictures of him in my house. They are the good-time pictures. And embrace just minutes after I had our son. A wedding picture. Him holding his newborn son and smiling. The grin when we moved out on our own for the first time. These are the memories I cherish because ... they were good.

  The Writing Mother
  posted at 10:08 PM

At 1:10 PM, Blogger Kira said...

Ok, I have a different perspective here. If you'd met my ex (have you?), you'd be convinced I am Satan. No wait, I am someone so evil, Satan is scared of me. I am evil and mean and horrible. It would bring a wee tear to your eye, my mistreatment of that poor poor man.
Except you know what? I'm not all that. I made my mistakes, he made his mistakes, but in his eyes, EVERYTHING is my fault. So what I would say is BEWARE the bitter man. If he can't be somewhat objective about his ex and admit some culpability in the end of a relationship, he's being honest. And if he REALLY did get involved with someone so horrible, how does he answer for that?
And even if someone mistreated them, it's still their choice to be bitter. YOU don't choose bitterness, why would you excuse it in them?


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