I would like to be one of those people who is good at trying new things... and if we are talking about strange Japanese food or a new spa treatment or flying first class rather than coach - well, I'm all about the trying of the new things.

But hurtful things have happened when I've gone out on a limb and tried new things.

(Let me define 'new things': things that are out of my comfort zone. My comfort zone includes thinking with my heart, writing, horses, books, talking, listening... all normal soft girl things, I think.)

And I've taken risks, don't get me wrong. I moved to a new country for a job when I was 18. That was a new thing - but it involved horses, so it was still considered my comfort zone.

Anyhoo... there's a point around here somewhere. Oh right, going out on a limb outside the comfort zone....

Excercize is not in my comfort zone. I have never been athletic. Let me catalogue...

Canada Fitness Standards Test. Guess who always got the 'Participaction' Ribbon (thanks for playing but you couldn't do enough sit ups and push ups, nor could you run fast enough in a set period of time. Go have another donut lardass.)

Hiking and biking with the family. There's a quote here somewhere, oh yeah "try keep up... you're fat and need to lose your baby fat". Side bar: 120 pounds at 5 foot 2 is not fat.

Running. I think one person somewhere told me that I ran funny. Yet over the years, and thanks to the 'negative talk tapes' than run through just about every woman's head - 457 people could have said it. I'm a self conscious runner.

Riding. Yep, I think I'm pretty good at riding. But I've never been the skinniest gal in the barn and let's face it - Wrangler jeans are not forgiving.

Junior High Gym Class. Do I need to go further?

So today I realized something.

I'm getting ready to start exercising with the boyfriend (as soon as neither of us are sick and hacking like 40 year smokers) and I realize that I have never worked out with anyone before. Certainly, definitely, not a guy.

I have this incredibly heavy feeling that I'm going to TRY and he is going to laugh at me.

Note: he will NOT, I know this in my logical brain, he would not do that.

Because if I TRY to exercise, if I give it my all and get all sweaty - I will not be in control. I have jiggly thighs and bouncey boobs. I will get all pink cheeked and wheezy after a block of running. I will hack and cough all night from the intake of too much oxygen, I'll have bouncing booty all up and down the street and heaven help me but he can't run behind me or he'll see it, and he can't run in front of me because he'll hear my wheezing out of shape gasping.

What am I going to do?

Note: BF is the most supportive person around. He is encouraging and wants me to do what I want - for me.

I think I might try.