Things You Think are Romantic, but SO Aren't.

1. Taking showers together. While you'd think standing nekkid with your honey would be oh-so romantic, it SO isn't. Instead, you spend half the time in the corner of the shower whining because it's getting cold and the rushing water makes wind that makes you colder. All the while your honey stands there in the hot stream of water, finally warming up because you were just in the stream of water "forever".

2. Kissing Underwater. Having tried this only once, I recall that it ended up with one of us gagging and choking after inhaling saltwater, and shooting up to the surface to gag and choke some more with snot running down her their face.

3. Sleeping under the stars. I have one word. Mice. Did you know that Mice also like to cuddle under the covers?

4. Sex outside. Or, more specifically, in the woods. Where you can play the fun game of 'try find all the pine needles in your underwear' for the next two days because you aren't staying at a campground with showers.

5. Car sex. Maybe it was cool back in the day when everyone owned cars like the classic Olds Omega where you could put a dozen of your friends and their dates in the car on Saturday night. But now, in a Dodge Neon, it's about as fun as trying to get back into a pair of pantyhose in the backseat.

These aren't things that I've learned *recently* mind you. Just things I've learned. I'll leave it at that.